21 at Twenty One

As my 22^nd birthday looms closer (my mum is already asking for a birthday list), I'm feeling older than ever but still a bit like a bewildered toddler just finding my feet. A lot has happened over the last few years as I'm sure has with many other bloggers- family, relationships, health and wealth have all gone up and down, but I've been thinking about the little things that have surprised and confused as well as amused me. This is a little list of many of those things- a light-hearted take on things I didn't think I'd be feeling/experiencing at this age, some of which have an explanation, some don't need an explanation, and some literally have no explanation- but most make me feel more like I'm turning 72 rather than 22 this September:

1. Not being able to cope with temperatures under 20 degrees.

2. Not wanting to go outside because its windy, its raining, or the sun has gone behind a cloud for 5 minutes.

3. Looking at virtually underage schoolgirls and wondering if they're dressed sexier than me.4. Buying massive spanx-type granny pants to go under tiny clubbing dresses.

5. Wondering if tiny clubbing dresses have become a bit too tiny.

6. Not actually wearing the tiny clubbing dresses despite massive spanx-type granny pants.

7. Telling myself I'm still growing to justify that third sausage at dinner (I'm not getting any taller but width-wise I'm not so sure!).

8. Asking the OH if he thinks lightly groomed ladyparts are 'exotic' because I'm getting bored of the upkeep (a definite no, I bought 20 more Gillette.)

9. Varicose Veins- on a recent trip to the Dr I mentioned some prominent, blue and sore veins at the back of my knees, the Dr said nothing can be done to prevent varicose veins or stop them getting worse but I was sent off with the delightful news that “if they get really bad and painful you can have an operation to pull them out”. Pull. Them. Out?? I will be buying compression stockings pronto.

10. Thinking that looking 'mumsy' isn't such a bad style after all (the first one will be called James, thanks for asking).

11. Buying lovely little homeware items for some home I don't actually live in.

12. Sneaking the OH past my dad like a schoolgirl despite never actually bothering to sneak when I was a school girl.

13. Getting up in the middle of the night to deal with frogs throwing themselves at the bathroom wall and the cat crying because no ones awake to accept her generous gift.

14. Cellulite- previously thought of by me as an affliction of only the over 40s, the back top of my thighs would thoroughly disagree. My general hate of exercise prevents me keeping up a good squatting routine so it's likely I'll never be found in a pair of hotpants (although not sure I really want to wear hotpants anyway).

15. Stretchmarks- another misconception of mine as a young girl, I thought stretchmarks were only really common post-pregnancy. However at about 13 I suddenly stretched and widened out, and although my stretchmarks haven't faded that much in nearly 10 years I've come to accept them as an interesting tiger stripe skin accessory à la this lady here.

16. My skin not suddenly becoming even and spot-less as soon as I turned 20.

17. Actually missing being at school- at the time school felt like torture: horrible early mornings, teachers and subjects I didn’t get on with, homework and worrying about exams. I never thought I'd miss it but looking back it was actually pretty easy and such a laugh even with a few exams thrown in (and 25 young girls' hormones clashing in one room). Is it too late to train as a teacher? Maybe I could go back and relive my glory days!

18. Having to think about rent, proper weekly shopping, home insurance etc. I'm back living with my Dad at the moment but when I did have to budget and try to do some maths (terrible brain for numbers) it all felt a bit too grownup and perplexing!

19. Bunions- before you groan, bunions aren't as bad they sound. Generally thought of as an affliction of the elderly, in a mild form it just means the bones in your foot stick out slightly while your toes point inwards a bit. Years of wearing my school shoelaces loose, followed by jamming my feet into the front of heels and wide Primark flats have left me with slightly prominent bones on the outside edge, delightfully named 'Tailors Bunions'.

20. Going Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Low Acid and Low FODMAP- the thought of giving up milk chocolate, cheese, apples, pastry and Haribo would've sent me into a cold sweat a few years ago but, while this 'diet' is hard for the first few months especially, I'm proud of myself for sticking with it and  want to say a big thank you to Mr Sucrose (and his cousin Glucose) for helping me through it.

As you can tell, I'm feeling pretty grannyish at the moment but I know I'm not the only one. If I'm like this now, imagine what I'll be like at 30!